Saturday, February 24, 2007

How To Handle Criticism?



Nobody likes to be criticized, but for some, harsh criticism can feel like a real body blow. Criticism, whether warranted or not, can ruin your entire day and you may even have found your mind returning to it again and again. Poorly handled, criticism can damage your confidence and cause self-doubt.
Have you ever noticed that some people let criticism slide off them like water off a duck's back? Nothing seems to get them down. But how do they do it? It is easy to make throwaway assumptions such as "oh, they must have better self esteem than me", but that is really no explanation at all.

Some additional ideas to think about:

* Consider whether you need to make some personal changes.
* Say "stop" to yourself when negative self-talk starts.
* View the situation as a stepping-stone instead of a brick wall.
* Learn the lesson and move on. Never dwell on criticism.
* Don't hold grudges. They only hurt you, not the other person.

These steps will help you disassociate from the pain of the criticism and deal with the situation as a professional.

When You Do The Criticizing

1. Praise others regularly. If others know that you respect them and their work, they will be more receptive to your requests for change and improvement.

2. Be positive. Avoid saying, "You didn't mail the package when I told you to." Say, "The top priority package wasn't mailed on time." Focus on future improvements, not past failures.

3. Be concrete. Name the specific area in which improvement is needed and give suggestions about how the improvements should or must be made.

4. Avoid attacking a person's characteristics or personality. State only what specific incident or situation needs adjustment and how that adjustment should be made. Avoid the pronoun you whenever possible. Focus on the situation and how it can be improved in the future.

5. Be considerate. Choose an appropriate time and place for criticism. Do not criticize in front of others. Avoid criticizing on the person's birthday, just before vacation or the end of the workday, or when the person isn't feeling well.

All people make mistakes; criticism is one way to learn from them. These guidelines also work in personal relationships.


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